I got my nails done today.
Which might sound a little boring and bland to some, but for me it's a big deal.
The last time that I sat down and had someone work on my nails was 6 years ago. Yes, SIX, YEARS. And that was for my school formal.
I'm not usually a very high maintainence girl, I have a slight tendency toward feminism and am greatly upset by women who can't find value in themselves outside their looks, as well as by men who can't see past a girl's dress size when choosing a partner. I deliberately dress Elsie in 'boys colours' occasionally and plan to raise her in a way that she knows she is so much more than just pretty. She will grow up with the knowledge that true value is on the inside of people.
All that aside, I do like to look nice. My 'beauty is on the inside' outlook has a limit. I know that I'm so much more than girls who are just 'hot', but I wouldn't mind being both at once.
I've been suffering a little 'not pretty enough' syndrome lately. I think it started over a year ago when Elsie's dad (the Lion King) found a new absolutely stunning girl to hook up with while I was waddling along with my big pregnant belly. This girl is gorgeous; long blonde hair, tanned fit body, beautiful blue eyes, sparkling smile. I couldn't compete with that on my best day, let alone when I've got a giant bump for a stomach. That started my self-esteem on it's downhill run.
Then a few months ago I also decided that cutting all of my waist-length hair off would be a great idea for some reason. That resulted in much less painful hair-pulling activity by Elsie, win. But it also had the undesirable effect of making me feel boyish and ugly. Now my blow-dryer has become my best friend (my hair being naturally curly, which suits my current hair cut about as well as hot pants suit my dad) and I refuse to leave the house without at least applying some mascara.
Not to mention that carrying a baby around everywhere is the fastest way to not get any male attention ever.
So when an acquaintance who has a beauty and nails business posted on facebook "first 4 commenters get acrylic french tips for $27" I thought to myself, why the hell not?
And I'm so glad I did.
I feel pampered, that little bit more feminine, and ever so slightly closer to being not just hot.